Dummies - the Big Debate

We made the decision before we had our first child that we would not use a dummy.  Richard is now two years four months and Alex is fourteen months and neither has ever had one.  The main reason for our decision was that I planned to breastfeed and I was concerned that using a dummy would interfere with this.  When you breastfeed, your baby’s sucking stimulates the breasts to produce the right amount of milk.  If you give a dummy, it might mean that the baby is not sucking enough to produce enough milk.  The result is a baby who is still hungry after feeding and who cries, so you give the dummy again and end up with a vicious circle of an unhappy, hungry baby and not enough milk to satisfy him.  Of course, there are days when you feel like the baby never stops feeding but this is usually when they’re going through a growth spurt and it’s necessary as milk production needs to go up a gear to meet their growing needs.  It’s frustrating, time-consuming and can be uncomfortable but you know it won’t last forever and you know it’s for the baby’s benefit so you put up with it.  I had one memorable day with Alex when I settled down on the sofa with him at 8.00am to feed and didn’t get up again till 2.00pm!

My second breastfeeding concern arose because we had difficulty in getting Richard established on breastfeeding.  I had terrible trouble with positioning and getting him latched on correctly.  I was concerned that introducing a dummy would confuse him even more as nipples are very different in shape and texture to dummies (at least mine are!). 

Apart from the breastfeeding, I have also read reports that prolonged use of a dummy can damage teeth by pushing the top teeth forward.  Some experts say that use of a dummy should be discouraged after three years to prevent this, others say that they should be stopped as early as twelve months.  There are also concerns that use of a dummy can delay speech development.  All babies start to learn to speak by babbling and babies with a dummy in their mouths all day have little opportunity to babble and so practice the beginnings of speech.

Finally, I’m a great believer in being led by my baby’s needs.  I don’t believe that a baby of a few weeks or months old is attention-seeking or manipulative.  If he is crying, it is because he needs something.  He may be hungry, thirsty, cold, uncomfortable or simply in need of a cuddle.  Even though it is sometimes difficult, if not impossible, to guess what the problem is, I am pretty certain your newborn baby is not lying there with the burning desire to put a dummy in his mouth!  Of course, if it is comfort and your attention that the baby craves, it is incredibly difficult to meet that need whenever the baby wants it.  With the best will in the world, you cannot cuddle a baby for 24 hours a day!  For that reason it is useful to give the child something that serves as a comforter but a teddy bear or blanket can become just as reassuring and comforting and carries none of the potential risks.  Richard is extremely attached to a very tatty blue bear that goes by the unlikely name of Gurgle. 

Basically, all my research suggested that some use of a dummy was fine but the words ‘limited’ and ‘restricted’ were always used.  I really did not see how I could convince an upset toddler that denying him his favourite comforter was in his own interests and felt that, in the long run, it was kinder to deny them a dummy at all rather than try to restrict or remove it when they had become dependent on it.

 

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“You can take a dummy away but you can’t take away a thumb”…Isn’t that what they say?  Truthfully, I can’t even remember making a conscious decision to give Oscar a dummy.  It just happened, after several colicky nights, probably, and not much sleep.  He wasn’t always colicky, but enough so that we felt we needed help calming him.

He must have been about 2 months old when we introduced the dummy to him because I can remember buying the 0+ months size.  I was breastfeeding with great difficulty (I should have submitted THAT story to the last CoNCepT - it was quite a battle), and we had to supplement his feeds with formula.  It’s possible this is what unsettled him.  Some babies reject the dummy, but Oscar was probably confused as to what shape or size was going to end up in his mouth anyway, so he took to it quite easily (which was a frightening prospect for the future).

We said from the beginning that we would only give the dummy to him at night or if he had difficulty sleeping during the day.  Of course, we were loose about that.  Unfortunately, I found myself having to buy emergency dummies if I forgot his.  We were also getting up several times at night trying to locate his dummy in the dark, underneath the cot, as far back as possible, tucked down beside the mattress, or half way across the room… whilst he cried.   As he got older though, he wasn’t terribly bothered if he lost it, or if I took it out to show off his gorgeous smiley face.  He wasn’t really a demanding dummy baby.  He wouldn’t throw a tantrum, for example, if he didn’t have it.

Nevertheless, around Christmas we decided to start weaning him off it.  We told him, playfully, “You don’t need that!”  or “That’s just for sleepy time, isn’t it,” and we think he understood because he didn’t grumble much.  Perhaps it was the tone of voice we used.  We tried not to make a big deal of it, and were calm even when he wasn’t.   It was a long process, but Oscar is nearly 13 months old now (at time of writing in April) and he never uses it during the day, unless he finds one lying about (and then he WILL stick it in his mouth simply because it’s there!).

In our case, we were lucky.  He was soothed, we got sleep, we restricted its use and, I believe, we are having an easier time taking it away as a result.  Yes, he still wakes sometimes in the night wondering where it is and, yes, he still has the odd night with it.  But it’s getting easier and easier for him.  I don’t know if it was the gradual removal or if it’s just because he’s an easygoing child.  He was a good boy about having it and is becoming a good boy without it.

Admittedly, we still resort to the dummy if he is overtired and just can’t get himself to sleep.  But I think we will be able to safely say Bye-Bye very soon.  And he will still have his fingers!

 

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I have always known that I didn't want a child with a dummy as I didn't want to end up with a three year old that was never seen without their dummy and talked round it all the time.  I just hate the look of older children with them in.  Before I was pregnant I hadn't really considered that you could take the dummy away from the child at some point so they weren't a permanent feature, and that they might give you some much needed sleep.

After I had my daughter, I still knew I didn't want her to have a dummy and would much rather have had her suck her thumb as she couldn't lose that in the middle of the night (though it occurred to me that it would be much more difficult to take it away from her when she was three!).  As it was she didn't want her thumb either but at the age of about 9 months (after employing the method since birth of sticking a boob in her mouth instead of a dummy to get some sleep) she decided she rather liked one of her daddy's t-shirts.  Now at 2½she has several scraps of t-shirt (rather grubby looking, though I assure you they are frequently washed!)that go everywhere and are the first thing she asks for when upset. They are an absolute necessity to get her to sleep and a godsend as I know that they will calm her instantly if there is a problem. However, she doesn't walk around outside the house with them, and they don't go in her mouth so haven't affected her talking, so I guess that is a plus point.

 

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I was never really for or against dummies, though in my heart of hearts I knew I would prefer it if Jasmine didn't have to use one.  The sight of many 4 year olds still sucking on a dummy and protesting when it was taken out was not where I wanted to be in 4 years time or even in 2 years.  I had already bought one prior to her birth "just in case".

Jasmine has always breast fed and right from the start she did not seem to like the idea of having anything else in her mouth.  This did not help when trying to bottle-feed breastmilk when I was away for a few hours!  I did try out the dummy on a couple of occasions early on in her life.  After 3 hours trying to settle her down one night she was still crying so I popped the dummy in.  Unfortunately Jasmine kept popping it out and continuing to cry.  After a number of nights trying this, I decided that Jasmine did not like either the taste or the feel of the dummy and therefore I stopped trying.  I have never really tried since.

Now 16 months later we are still dummy free, though she does sometimes have a fascination with other children's dummies and has been know to borrow one for a quick suck but soon passes it back.

 

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Nieve was just a baby when I first gave her a dummy, it pacified her once when she was crying and I continued using it from that day on.  I initially purchased several orthodontic dummies to ease the concerns I had about giving her a dummy.  Nieve decided she did not like these and so we ended up using the ordinary ones after all.

I soon realised that Nieve was not going to give her dummy up and as she grew older so did her dependence and comfort.  I also knew that she, like lots of other children, would forego the habit before any damage to her jaw and teeth could occur.

In fact I read somewhere that embryos actually suck on their thumbs while in the mother's womb and that thumbsucking and dummies both help children become comfortable with their environment, as well as offer a sense of security.  The dentist confirmed to me that as long as she discontinued using it before her permanent teeth arrived she would be fine.

Over a period of several months we gradually phased the dummy out until Nieve only had it when she was tired and for bedtime.  She finally gave them up last Christmas just before her 3rd birthday, when she agreed to leave them for the Reindeer with the carrots and milk.  She asked if the Reindeer could take them back to Lapland to give out to the babies who did not have dummies.

Nieve now uses a muslin cloth for comfort when she is tired.

 

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I hate dummies with a passion!!!  Our reasons against them are seeing a number of children wandering around with these awful looking plastic objects in their mouths.

Recently we had to take Ethan (now 4 years old) to the speech therapist as he was unable to pronounce some sounds and the first thing we were asked was did we use a dummy?  No came the answer as we don't agree with them, but he did use a cup with a spout - this was why his speech was affected.  The speech therapist informed us that dummies and cups with spouts were the two biggest reasons why they saw children with delayed or immature speech patterns.  The Speech Therapy department slogan is "a dummy a day keeps my speech away!" and it couldn't be truer.  As a result of the appointment, we do not allow Ptolemy to use a cup with a spout and definitely no dummy.

We must add, though, that we are extremely lucky and never had the need to use a dummy as both boys are pretty content.

 

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Writing as someone in the medical profession I had a strong preconceived idea that I would never give my baby a dummy.  In fact, when people suggested it, I became quite annoyed and would highlight the disadvantages, ie difficulties with breastfeeding, dental complications and hygiene etc.  However, after about 10 days and nights of being a 'human dummy' with very sore nipples to prove it I made a dash to the shops and purchased a couple of those wonderful inventions!  Never say never!

I'm afraid Max has never looked back.  From a very early age it enabled him to settle himself off to sleep and crying car journeys became a thing of the past.  I did at first vow that the dummy would only ever be used at night but, as with anything that aids a quiet life, it is now an essential piece of equipment, quickly soothing the pain and trauma that a 16 month old encounters!

I look around and see that most children have a 'comfort' item, be it a teddy, blanket or thumb.  My only concern is the nightmare that awaits me when the dummy must go. However I do comfort myself with the fact that he will eventually stop using a dummy. I guess it's harder to wean a child off a thumb!

 

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I'm not sure if I fall into the "for" or "against" camp as we never had a deliberate game plan.  We gave one to James probably before he was even a week old.  He used it as much as he liked to start, then by the time he was 8 months old, only for naps and night-time (mainly because the way he used them created rivers of drool and he'd soak his clothes!).  We also let him have it for long car or plane trips to keep us sane.  When he was just turned two, I was between jobs so took that as an opportunity to try to cut out the dummy - figuring if I had to suffer awful nights of his "withdrawal" then at least I wouldn't have to stagger to work the next day.  We told him he was a big boy now and didn't need it anymore, and to our utter amazement, had no problems at all.  He didn't cause us grief going to sleep, and after a week stopped asking for it or looking for where we hid it entirely!  I think we totally lucked out.  I have no regrets about using the dummy - it made everyone happy - but I'm also glad we got him off it fairly early on before he became permanently attached to it.

 

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I am pro dummies which is totally the reverse of what I was when Gaby was first born.  I was raging insistent that she wasn't going to have a dummy and anyone who dared give one to her, watch out!

Things changed very quickly!  When Gaby was born she was a thumb-sucker and, having been a thumb-sucker myself,  I always knew the risks of buck teeth.  Believe me, once the habit begins, it's hard stop, even in later teen years and beyond!

The long term damage thumb or finger sucking causes to teeth is apparently far worse than the use of a proper orthodontic dummy and I, with the dreaded bicyle chains on my teeth when younger, witnessed the damaged caused by sucking my thumb.

Gaby wouldn’t accept a dummy at an early age, it was just spat out.  Shame because I could have done with the peace during 13 weeks of bad colic.  However, when she was about 4 months she used it during the day as a comfort when tired.  I was against her using it in bed as a friend of mine used one at night and every time it fell out of baby’s mouth he would wake and cry and she would have to get up.  However, when Gaby started teething at night, I used it to pacify her as her ‘duck duck’ comforter just didn't help.  Now she is hooked on the dummy and sometimes it is particularly difficult at night if she loses it.

So although it does give babies comfort and I do let her have it, I don’t like the look of it and I'm hoping to give it away to the fairies when she is old enough to understand.

 

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Like many of the issues debated in CoNCepT, dummies are a sensitive subject.  People often feel strongly and can take abstract arguments and opinions personally.  I do not like the idea of dummies but was lucky in that my toddler was always a very contented baby and we were never in a “wits end” scenario where a dummy might be tempting.  However, other than an emotive view, there are several scientific arguments against the use of dummies.

Interference with breastfeeding - there is strong evidence that women who use dummies are more likely to wean their babies off the breast earlier than mothers who don't use dummies on a daily basis.  One study also found that mothers who used a dummy for their baby were more likely to breastfeed exclusively for a shorter amount of time, or to report a lack of milk when the baby was at least one month old.  This is thought to be because babies find it difficult to switch from sucking on a dummy or artificial teat back to sucking on the breast, sometimes called nipple confusion.  In addition, sucking on a dummy instead of the breast results in lack of stimulation to the breast to produce prolactin, which then results in a reduced milk supply.

Both the WHO and the United Nations Children's Fund strongly discourage the use of dummies. To back this up, step nine of the UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative "Ten steps to successful breastfeeding" advises that no artificial teats or dummies are given to breastfed babies.

Speech problems - using a dummy prevents babies from babbling, which is an important step in learning to talk, and discourages toddlers from chatting, which they need to do to develop their language skills.

Increased ear infections - there is a proven link between prolonged dummy use and middle ear infections, thought to be caused by sucking on a dummy increasing the chance of infection back-tracking from the mouth into the Eustachian tube.

Link to stomach and other infections - dummy use has been associated with a higher risk of symptoms such as vomiting, fever, diarrhoea, and colic, as well as with the doctor being called to the home, and having to go into hospital.

Dental problems - the British Dental Health Foundation advises discouraging the use of dummies or thumb-sucking as both can result in problems as the teeth grow and develop, particularly if the child is still using this as a comfort when their permanent teeth are coming through.

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