Surviving the early days

The early days with your new baby can be a difficult time. You are recovering from the birth, your emotions are all over the place and everything is new and strange. We hope our top tips - tried and tested by NCT mums - will go some way to helping you through.

• Before the birth, prepare and freeze meals that can be defrosted and popped straight in the oven such as shepherds pie, lasagne, spaghetti bolognese, etc. You could also freeze the meals in single portions in case you and your partner want to take it in turns to eat while the other one takes care of the baby.
• Stock up on takeaway menus and don’t feel guilty about using them. Sometimes a little convenience is just what you need.
• Take advantage of on-line shopping and home delivery. Tesco, Sainsbury and Waitrose all deliver locally.
• Buy a travel mug. Baby will inevitable need feeding or changing just as you have made yourself a hot drink and a thermal mug is the only way to ensure that you get to drink it hot. The ones with lids are much safer to use around babies too as you won’t spill any. Alternatively, make up a flask of tea or coffee in the morning and you’ll have a hot drink on tap when you need it.
• Eat cereal bars - they're great for a quick snack.
• Don’t wait to get help with any breastfeeding pain. It is likely to be due to positioning and should be tackled immediately. If your midwife is not really taking any notice, ask her to spend some time helping you achieve the correct positioning, even though it can be hard to be proactive when you are feeling inadequate and vulnerable. Alternatively, try a breastfeeding drop-in group, an NCT breastfeeding counsellor, or the Breastfeeding Network.
• Have a cabbage chilling nicely in the fridge for when your milk comes in. It may sound bizarre but a cold cabbage leaf in your brais bliss for swollen boobs
• Accept all offers of help and be specific about what you need done - don’t be shy about asking your mother-in-law to clean the house or cook a meal.
• Sleep when you can - take cat naps in the afternoon and it will really help you regain your strength after the birth.
• At weekends, take it in turns to get up early with the baby, at least you get one lie-in a week!
• Buy a night light for use in the dark hours so you don’t disturb the little one with bright overhead lights
• If you want to use washable nappies, don’t be put off in the first few weeks by the very runny poos leaking out of the nappies. Washable nappies work best after 6 weeks of age.
• Leave muslin cloths in every room so that there is always one handy wherever you are.
• Keep the changing bag ready by the door, packed with clean nappies and a change of clothes. It’s one less thing to worry about when you’re going out.
• Have a ‘babymoon’. Give yourself up completely to your new baby for the first few days or couple of weeks. Cancel visitors, put the phone on voicemail, and concentrate on doing what you’ve got to do. Maybe some people will be put out, calls will not get answered, chores and paperwork will not get done, but in the big scheme of things, so what? You will catch up.
• Take things at your own pace and do what makes you feel comfortable. If you can’t face the day without a shower and a comb through your hair, then baby won’t come to any harm if you take ten minutes to yourself in the morning. Equally, the world won’t come to an end if you’re still in your PJs at tea-time. Whatever suits you is best.
• On the subject of appearances, if you get fed up with people telling you that you look tired, try a little moisturiser with self-tan in it. It will make you look healthy and more alert even if you don't feel it.
• One reader recommends putting a list on the fridge of all the obvious reasons why the baby might be crying:- hungry, wind, nappy, cuddle, too hot/cold, tired, unwell. During first couple of weeks, run through the list if you can’t work out immediately what’s wrong. You’ll need it less and less as you get to know your baby but it might help to get you into the habit of learning what she needs.
• Talk to other mums at Bumps & Babes, postnatal groups, etc, as you may find others with the same issues as you - and maybe even solutions!
• At the same time, try not to compare. Every baby behaves differently and we are all living up to our own ideals of perfect parenting. It’s not a competition.
• Don’t be swayed by others' opinions as everyone does things differently, and thinks their wayis the best way.
• Try to keep a positive mental attitude. As often as you can, tell yourself this phase is temporary, things will get better in a short period of time, and remind yourself how lucky you are to have a healthy baby. Seems too simple, but it really does work.
• Don't forget the services that the NCT offers which could help, such as the valley cushion if you are very tender after the birth.
• Last, but most important, take the time to enjoy your new baby. It goes so fast!